You sit and wonder what is more insulting than your ex asking you if you are still fat or travelling over 3000 miles to be with someone who then avoids you and turns you into a stalker.

Somehow you meet a guy he’s cute and seems lovely but somewhere along the line something always goes terribly wrong.

Usually there are signs, little signs that may lead you to think this is not a good guy, but being the ever hopeful romantic who are you to doubt love? 

Who are you to miss out on your “potential soulmate.” Yes you have actually used those words right? 

Who are you to think that a person that spends the first part of your relationship being difficult won’t change?

Then you start to wonder if the problem is you. When the signs that say run this guy is no good why then do you run towards them?

Perhaps too many novels that tell you a happy ending will be yours so bring on the heartbreak and bring on the assholes.

But God we pray that at the end of all this prince kinda charming is waiting. O and God please let him have a job o yes and papers.

Now lets look at what else you want in prince kinda charming. You used to be like “they need a diploma” but you let that standard go. Nothing like dropping your standards and then the person ends up married to someone else.

Then you look for a “good guy” but lets just say the difference between the good and the bad is getting thinner and thinner.

It’s always a contest. Are you the girlfriend having to deal with the harem of sidechicks.  Or are you the sidechick knowingly or unknowing, if unknowing being humiliated when the official bae is made known.

Decisions decisions this is love in 2018.

Now you are almost 30 it’s starting to come up do you have kids? Nope. Are you married? Nope. Awkward silence follows. 

But it’s really not polite to respond with are you happy in your relationship?

Do you wish you had waited to have kids?

If you could do it again would you pick YOUR husband?

Do you worry that you will resent your children for stopping your career?

Are you really and truly happy?

Instead you smile and respond, well I haven’t met the right guy yet or I don’t think I’m ready for children. 

When you are finally around children you honestly start to wonder am I ready to give my life to school runs? Don’t I enjoy sleeping till midday and buying crap that I don’t need?

But those babies are just so darn cute, how bad could one be. And those husbands do seem awfully handy at times.

On the other hand it’s not all bad right because you have a guy that you have never met saying that he loves you. But you are skeptical, it is not because you aren’t “that great” but something must be wrong with someone that tells you they love you without meeting you first right?

Or is that love in 2018?

Or is the problem that if a guy is serious then all of a sudden they are desperate or something must be wrong with them? You don’t know but it just seems highly suspicious.

So back to the point. Do you enjoy wasting women’s time or you just can’t help it? 

Why can’t guys just leave you alone? They see you living your life and all they want is to f up your shit.

This is love in 2018 right?

This thing we want called black love will be our downfall.

But when its right it’s so right that how can you not want it.

It can be right right?

#TThought on Love from Africa

7 October 2018 

To be continued