Tag Archives: Grief

A Kiss In Joburg – On Love from Africa Selections 

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked.
“You kissed me,” I replied.
“Fuck you,” he retorted.

I looked out the window, smiling. He was driving me to the airport. I had spent the night at his house because Johannesburg is a dangerous place—especially for a Zimbabwean woman alone with too many bags and no access to Wi-Fi.

The plan had been simple: I would arrive in Joburg, and a driver from my hotel would pick me up from the airport. He would meet me later in a neutral place. We were just supposed to have drinks because I was in town. 

A lady has to maintain some decorum when meeting a man in a foreign country. But things didn’t go as planned. The free Wi-Fi refused to connect, and my phone wouldn’t make calls. I asked a woman nearby if I could use her phone. She agreed but warned me, “You shouldn’t be out here alone. Even I’m afraid to be out here alone.” 

I called him and explained that my phone wasn’t working and the driver hadn’t arrived.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked—not rudely, but in a “what’s the solution?” kind of way.
I asked if he could pick me up. He said he’d be there soon.

So I waited. It felt like forever. My mind started to wander, as it often does. What if he doesn’t come? Is this a good idea? We’ve only met once before this. Sure, we’ve talked on the phone, and I was introduced to him in Zimbabwe, but this is South Africa. Oh boy, how do I get myself into these situations?

Then he arrived—still as handsome as I remembered. He helped me with my bags and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I couldn’t help wondering where his car was. It must have shown on my face because he said, “Unoterwa nematsotsi if you use flashy cars at night.”

We decided it made no sense to go to the hotel—his place was closer. At least, that’s what he claimed.

He was Zimbabwean, handsome, and confident—he had told me he knew he’d already “made it.” Fast forward a year. We hadn’t really spoken since I got back home. He was upset that nothing had happened between us—sulking in that way men do, hoping to make you feel like you owe them your body.

Then, one day, I was scrolling through my phone and saw the news. Someone had been shot. The photo caught my eye. “Mmm, he looks like G,” I thought. I looked again, thinking, There’s no way. A quick search confirmed it: he was gone.

In my mind, when I returned home next, I’d planned to reach out to him. Maybe pick up where we’d left off—or finish whatever we’d been trying to start.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked.
“You kissed me,” I replied.

Now, maybe we kissed each other. It’s hard to remember what really happened when one person is gone.

Today’s Thoughts – RIP Tuku

Today I sat and was listening to Whitney. I thought about how her daughter died after her and was thinking that some people just die but some die of heartbreak.

The inability to continue without a loved one.

Maybe they are in heaven saying “No father someone must come with me”, “ Someone must help me get this place ready for those that are coming”

A few hours later I’m sitting at work and I see RIP tuku. I think no, I hope it is fake news. You always want it to be fake news when you do not agree with it right?

Then I go check twitter and it’s true the legend is gone. It seems like all the legends are dying my father included among them.

Last year I was so sad when Hugh Masekela died, I thought o man I will never get to see him perform. When I saw Tuku I had been telling my mum that I need to see him before he dies. I guess my dream came true. He was excellent he had his wife on stage as well which was cute.

I remember seeing a video of him talking about his friend Hugh when he died. He was saying he has even come kumusha with me. It’s not every friend that goes to your home home with you. I think if you are African you can understand this.

They died on the same day. To go with a loved one is amazing for those that are going but terrible for those that are left behind. Double the loss but would we have one of our own alone up there? Someone must go first. Someone must go and setup things, tell us how the journey is, make way for us and clear the path.

I have been coming to terms with the idea that it is “God’s will” and I cannot change it, I cannot challenge it, I must accept it and know that it’s for the best.

We can have no ancestors without death, we can never see heaven without death, we can’t appreciate life without death.

All that to say Tuku RIP

May your music continue to connect me to those I have lost my gogo, dadi and to those living my mother and those I wish could have seen you.