Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
Trying to move past that person is an idiot to they may see or think differently from me.
Tag Archives: TThoughts
Tigere Tese – The Collection of Knowledge for the Future Generation of Black People
Being asked how I would improve my community feels timely. I have been getting more views on my website. I think I have reached the level of content (not necessarily in quality but definitely in quantity) where I come up in searches organically.
I now find that I have views on my page even on days that I have not posted. It’s always a surprise to me because there was a point when the only views consisted of me checking to ensure the post had been published or that the site was live because the views were so little but I digress.
I started this website when I was at college and my aim was to quote me quoting Seneca,
“I am acting on behalf of later generations. I am writings dow a few things that may be of use to them; I am committing to writing some helpful recommendations, which might be compared to the formulae of successful medications, the effectiveness of which I have experienced in th case of my own sores, which may not have been completely cured but have at least ceased to spread”
I spend a lot of time reading and I started learning, like really learning and understanding what it means to be black in university. I had a year or two where I found all I could about Malcom X, which lead me to start reading and listening to some black philosophers and eventually start learning about black history, in the context of “our struggles”.
I have always known the superficial, stereotypical identity and explanations of what it means to be black . I am aware of the fact that people are racist, they have a fascination our hair, bodies and music and culture which always corresponds with a desire to “fix us” and our problematic corrupt african nations. These are the things are easy to see and only surface level highlight surface level problems.
When I started reading and comprehending at a higher level I started to understand something that I think even as a “clever person” I wasn’t aware of. The fact that it is not enough that we are not only hated by “white people” but many so called people of colour (POC) also play a role in our oppression and also hate us because of how any solidarity may highlight our similarities and result in them being compared to us.
I also started to see and understand the different structural systems in place that reinforce our lack of power but the most important thing I learned was the fact that some of the issues that I felt were unique to this this time and place had already been observed and documented. Texts like “It’s in Your Hands” by Fannie Lou Hamer succinctly summarized some of the problems we are having with EDI/POC discussions, which never seem to reduce racism or the marginalization of the poor. Biographies like As I Stand by Paul Robeson also showed me that no matter your position you cannot excuse yourself from blackness.
I realized that I could do my small part in reading, and instead of annoying everyone around me with the often very depressing information I found, it may be best to write it down till another me is looking for information and guidance on what they could learn which would assist in understanding, trying to fix the problems persistent in our community and the identifying the mechanisms that are utilized to reinforce our oppression.
I think I am in the process of improving my community by gathering information and reminding them that:
Reed is dead now. He won no honours in classroom, pulpit or platform. Yet I remember him with love. Restless, rebellious, scoffing at conventions, defiant of the white man’s law – I’ve known many negroes like Reed. I see them everyday. Blindly, on their own reckless manner, they seek a way out for themselves; alone, they pound with their fists and fury against walls that only the shoulders of many can topple – Paul Robeson
“May God forgive you for the evil you do in his name” MT
Figure out the root cause
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
I think the best strategy to cope with negative feelings is figuring out why you are feeling that way. Is it something that has been bubbling up but you have just been ignoring it?
I was watching a video about getting jealous of friends and of course everyone is perfect on the internet and no-one has ever been jealous of a friend or compared themselves with an acquaintance. I, however, could totally relate to that feeling of wondering “What am I doing wrong?” or “How come this hasn’t worked for me?”
I think one thing that is often triggering is having a wonderful or normal day scrolling on your phone, and before you know it, all you can think about is what is wrong with your life. In these situations I think you just need to sit with yourself and reflect, pray or really dig deep to think why did that make me feel bad? Is this something that I actually want, care about or do I just think I want it because someone else has it.
Another thing to consider is what it represents for you; you may see your friend making more money and think that’s what you want but in reality you haven’t realized that you hate your job and desire a change. So you get that negative feeling but it is really nothing to do with that “LinkedIn post” but instead what you are feeling is a desire for change in your life.
I find once you identify what is giving the negative feeling power it’s easier to cope with it. If you don’t know why you are feeling that way it’s easy to drown in that feeling. Lastly the best way to cope with negative feelings is to know that this feeling will pass, nothing is permanent.
10 Thoughts During the 10K Run
I recently had the bright idea to sign up for a 10K run.
Actually, I’ll start at the beginning.
I started a new job a couple of years ago, and in April, they announced they’d be starting a walk/run club.
I know, I know — those two things don’t really exist together because there’s always a bit of tension between the runners and the walkers. There’s this lingering belief from the runners that they must encourage the walkers to run.
And on the other side, the walkers always feel that pressure to run — even though they were assured they wouldn’t have to.
Then there’s me: I try to walk my own run (the runners will get that joke… I hope).
Somewhere along the way, I learned that group activities often leave a lot to be desired. Always have an exit plan or a distraction that allows you be left alone unless you want to be part of the group. A book used to work great — for the run/walk club earphones do the tricks.
Fast forward — the walk/run club got a little more serious, and eventually the season ended. Then the following year, I was encouraged to run a marathon.
I thought, “Why not?”
When I excitedly told my sister that I was running a marathon, she was shocked.
“You’re running 42K?” she asked.
“Noo, it’s 10K., I proudly told her”
“That’s not a marathon,” she replied.
“Huh? What do you mean?” – Apparently, a marathon is an actual distance and not just a catch-all word for “a really long run.” There went my Olympic dreams.
My first 10K actually went pretty well — I managed to run about 7 of the 10 kilometers. But the second year? I’d been busy.
The work run club was no longer active, and I’d taken a break from the gym for various reasons. I signed up knowing I was just going to walk the whole thing.
I can honestly say I didn’t prepare at all. But as race day got closer, I started to think: maybe I could run a little bit?
Then came the additional pressure: how can I start this run just walking?
So, to save face, I started out running.
Roughly 500 meters in, I realized my body was not ready at all. I knew I had to honour that. I could hear Adriene’s voice in my head — find what feels good, listen to your body.
And so I did. I slowed down to a walk.
That’s when I started paying attention — and observed all the personalities that show up at a 10K run. So here they are:
1. The Friend-Follower – “Whyyyy did I do this? I just want to be in bed scrolling… but I didn’t want to be left out.”
2. The Flopper – sends text: “Hey, I won’t be coming today because insert excuse here.”
3. The Baby – cries from all the noise “Whyyy am I here? Where’s my juice box? Why isn’t YouTube working?”
4. The Pigeons – I still don’t get it. Why don’t they just fly? It makes no sense.
5. Man in the Range Rover – “I have a meeting on Bay Street. Why are all the roads closed??”
6. Runner 1 – “How fast am I going? Can I beat last year’s time? What about [insert arch-nemesis]?”
7. The Professional Runner – “Why do I even bother? Most people here are so inexperienced.”
8. Walker 200 – “Favkkkkk why did I do this?” Looks back to check if anyone is behind them.
9. The Group Runners – “Has anyone seen Michelle? I swear she was just here. We need to take a selfie!”
10. The Influencer Runner – “What’s the right hashtag for this? I want to look flushed but not sweaty. Wait… are we actually doing the whole race? I thought we were just going live at the start and end.”
Those were the thoughts I had during the run.
Honourable mention to the pregnant woman with a push chair who almost fell trying to overtake a slower runner. I won’t lie, I had to laugh — because if I hadn’t walked, I wouldn’t have caught all of this.
By the time I started writing these down, I had already walked nearly 7K.
Now I’m wondering: what will my thoughts be next year… and which runner will I be?
This blog post was edited using ChatGPT
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