Category Archives: Life

Family and Friends, Life, relationships

Exactly Where I am Supposed to Be

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Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

There are things that I constantly think I have to do, ways my life will go but even when the universe shows me it has its own agenda, I still plan and plan.

I have a journal that tracks my thoughts, that I should be able to use but I forgot it at home so I can’t see exactly what dream I had last year. Let me think, I think, I joked I would be at the Christmas market plus one but instead I will be at the Christmas markets plus one.

In the past year I’ve had some disappointments and some successes, but honestly I think 2025 was a very laid back year. 2023 and 2024 were emotionally exhausting. Yes I could have done more but I didn’t, I’m trying to move at my own pace and give myself grace for what I did do. So I’ll assess if my life today is what I pictured a year ago.

Family – I’m realizing that family is not a fixed thing, it evolves as you do. It expands and contracts. I didn’t think mine would grow from the ones I grew up with, but it did and come what may I’m happy about it.

Career – I think I’m coasting. I could do more but I have no real interest and in part it could be because I have not been bold. I have not asked for more nor have I taken any risks. I am slowly becoming fat off the hog or should I say complacent with my golden handcuffs?

Friends – I’m reassessing many friendships and wondering if they still fulfill me outside of thinking we have been friends for ages. But on the other hand it seems almost impossible to make new friends and any attempts in doing so are met with “let’s meet up” then never come to fruition. I’ve also found my self thinking do I actually like this person or do they actually like me?

Wellness – Emotionally I think I am better than I have been in a long time yet I’m physically failing. I am still walking Lolah everyday but the gym had been hit and miss.

Creative Pursuits – I have ideas, oh sooo many ideas but the execution is always delayed.

Am I where I thought I would be last year? Well I’m in the correct country, with the right person, writing this blog so no not exactly but I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

P.S. I worked out this morning so I know I’ll get back to peak wellness

Life, relationships

First day as a Fiancé

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Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

My first day as a fiancée was uneventful with the exception of putting ring on and taking it off. Then doing the same thing over and over again.

I thought to myself argggggghhhhh. How long will I wait till I spill my guts? Turns out there are still people just finding out. I think I just wanted a moment to enjoy the moment without other peoples input, advice or thoughts.

It’s nice to have something to yourself especially on the first day, before the world puts it’s influence on it.

Health and Wellness, Life, relationships

So many small slights

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Are you holding a grudge? About?

I actually started reading a book about boundaries. I’ve had discussions with my sister and it has been communicated that I may let people “take the piss” once in a while. I’m holding a grudge about the treatment I have received from people I think should have cared more for and about me. I try to meet people where they are as I expect to be met where I am but even I sometimes feel like the WTF is going on here from my interactions with people.

I try to forgive but to be honest in the heat of an argument I think it takes me a lot longer than it should to let something go. Oftentimes, I give people chances who end up doing the exact same thing and if I was more religious I would justify it by saying no one is perfect and give others grace but somethings seem intentional to me. Some slights are on purpose or repeated because of the lack of concequencses.

My aunt posted a great meme it said have you ever forgiven and then gotten new information. That’s how I feel, that I forgive then inevitably new information comes forward. So to answer the question yes I am holding a grudge and honestly I probably won’t stop because why did you do that? Why did you say that? Why weren’t you there for me? But while going through the other posts I saw the following quote

“Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”