Tag Archives: Black love

A Kiss In Joburg – On Love from Africa Selections 

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked.
“You kissed me,” I replied.
“Fuck you,” he retorted.

I looked out the window, smiling. He was driving me to the airport. I had spent the night at his house because Johannesburg is a dangerous place—especially for a Zimbabwean woman alone with too many bags and no access to Wi-Fi.

The plan had been simple: I would arrive in Joburg, and a driver from my hotel would pick me up from the airport. He would meet me later in a neutral place. We were just supposed to have drinks because I was in town. 

A lady has to maintain some decorum when meeting a man in a foreign country. But things didn’t go as planned. The free Wi-Fi refused to connect, and my phone wouldn’t make calls. I asked a woman nearby if I could use her phone. She agreed but warned me, “You shouldn’t be out here alone. Even I’m afraid to be out here alone.” 

I called him and explained that my phone wasn’t working and the driver hadn’t arrived.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked—not rudely, but in a “what’s the solution?” kind of way.
I asked if he could pick me up. He said he’d be there soon.

So I waited. It felt like forever. My mind started to wander, as it often does. What if he doesn’t come? Is this a good idea? We’ve only met once before this. Sure, we’ve talked on the phone, and I was introduced to him in Zimbabwe, but this is South Africa. Oh boy, how do I get myself into these situations?

Then he arrived—still as handsome as I remembered. He helped me with my bags and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I couldn’t help wondering where his car was. It must have shown on my face because he said, “Unoterwa nematsotsi if you use flashy cars at night.”

We decided it made no sense to go to the hotel—his place was closer. At least, that’s what he claimed.

He was Zimbabwean, handsome, and confident—he had told me he knew he’d already “made it.” Fast forward a year. We hadn’t really spoken since I got back home. He was upset that nothing had happened between us—sulking in that way men do, hoping to make you feel like you owe them your body.

Then, one day, I was scrolling through my phone and saw the news. Someone had been shot. The photo caught my eye. “Mmm, he looks like G,” I thought. I looked again, thinking, There’s no way. A quick search confirmed it: he was gone.

In my mind, when I returned home next, I’d planned to reach out to him. Maybe pick up where we’d left off—or finish whatever we’d been trying to start.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked.
“You kissed me,” I replied.

Now, maybe we kissed each other. It’s hard to remember what really happened when one person is gone.

Dear * Insert Favourite column name here* – The Settle Down Selections

Daily writing prompt
List the people you admire and look to for advice…

I am a 34 y old female (In this day and age I should say cis heterosexual female). I normally love listening  podcasts, reading and swimming but I met a man and he seems to take up all my time. I think of him often and I hate people that randomly sing but I’ve found my self listening to hours of music and sending him songs I think he may like. 

Dear *favourite column* when he starts to sing I join in (something I usually find very annoying) and the other day I was horrified that I not only recorded but proceeded to send him a voice note of me singing TO HIM! 😩

Please help. I’m not sure what’s happened to me. I’ve even started apologizing when I’m wrong, I’m never wrong but something about him makes me reconsider. 

Could this be what they call love?

With love from hater of musicals and all things too cute and mushy 

Me

What have you been working on?

I’ve been working on being a better person. That has included accepting the bad, the good and the in-between.

It’s also just meant accepting that the vision I have of some perfect future me may never actualize and the existing version is just fine.

I’m considering what relationships still serve me, wondering why I hold on to the ones that do not. Wondering if I give people chances out of compassion or out of fear that I may need that grace in the future.

Fear has showed itself a lot in my quest to be better, I never thought there was anything I couldn’t do but I think as you get older life shows you that there is much to fear.

So I guess I’ve been working on the fear that this may be as good as it gets and acknowledging no accepting that’s ok?