Tag Archives: Lovers

Life, relationships

On New Year’s Day

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How did you meet your significant other?

So the story goes. . .

I went out with one of my besties on New Year’s Eve and what a night! It was such a good time I lost my AirPod! Yet again I was in England and had lost an AirPod.

I tried to find it but decided that incase I needed to buy new AirPods I would take the bus and save the taxi fare for the replacement AirPods. So off I went on my search, no luck with finding the AirPod so i had to take the bus home. I decided let me use the bathroom in Wethespoon as it was almost an hour bus ride.

As I went in I looked up and felt someone looking at me, I didn’t really think much of it. I was on a “break” from dating that was technically ending on that day but it felt a little too early to even be thinking about it, plus I was heartbroken about my AirPod.

Long story short a few weirdos later I was sitting in the bus and I heard “Can I sit?” I laughed, shrugged my shoulders and said something sarcastic like “It’s a free bus” but he insisted “Yes, buttt can I sit?” “I guess” I said laughing and as the youth would say the rest is history.

Or so the story goes.

Life, relationships

The Misuse of ‘Narcissist’ and ‘Gaslighting’

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What is a word you feel that too many people use?

I know, I know thats technically a word and a phrase but I think that the last 2-3 years everyone has been dating a narcissist who was gas lighting them. I can’t be the only one who now cringes when a break up story begins with “the were such a narcissist, I know everyone says that but they actually were”

Don’t get me wrong there are narcissists and people who gas light others (full disclosure I’m still not sure I could explain to a third grader what both those things actually mean but I digress) but I just don’t think it’s everyone’s ex.

I think the word gained peak popularity when being used referring to Trump. My concern is always when non clinicians give a diagnosis on other people or when clinicians go on tv and give diagnosis on people they have not assessed. Now the assumption my be correct but I think it’s like when we google things and all roads lead to it’s probably cancer leaving out the crucial fact that you are not a doctor and are most likely not in a position to adequately diagnose yourself.

On the other side of the sectrum people lack all accountability to say hey may I dated an asshole and I was not in a space that allowed me to value myself enough to recognize that and leave them. Instead every break up default explanation is “they were such a narcissist” “I was getting gas lit all the time” I mean I’m no doctor but we can’t all be dating gaslighting narcissists right? And if we are then what are we actually talking about?

So yes that is a word or rather a diagnosis i think has been over used almost to the point it has lost significance, which i think actually takes away from those that may actually have been dating a narcissist.