Nose Rings – An Intro to the Settle Down Selections

So I just spent this morning reading a Twitter thread about why Zimbabwean men would never marry a woman with a nose ring. I will give a few of the justifications that were “given”

1. Those nose piercings and tattoos are a symbolic statement of a certain belief like satanism

2. Lol I use to say that…Learnt the hard way…She can be a good person clubbing hard, but that does not mean you should marry her. You will raise the kids in the club.

3. Yes, l think it’s high time Zim men have an open mind when it comes to women. A nose ring does not mean she is a whore, in church there are sometimes women without nose rings and they are whoring like crazy! 🤣

4. It’s associated with the street and wildness (or most people who used to do it were for the streets). So it gives us nerves and fear as if we took a whore for a wife. Otherwise it shouldn’t be a thing.

5. I personally wouldn’t. Im sure some of them are great people but the ones I knew who were into that were very wild and loose…The stereotype unfortunately stuck.

6. That’s a sign that she belongs to the streets…

7. Nope,no tattoos,no drinking….🚩🚩 Most definitely no smoking

8. Nose ring signifies potent cock sucking skills so no for me

9. I want it as bad as earrings, but I’m not a whore. I will wait till after marriage then do it

10. Would you be comfortable to introduce her to your mother? If the answer is yes, go ahead.

If this is our mindset on nose rings and we have not even touched on religion, politics, class or family values pray tell how are we going settle down?

Thoughts?

Our Voices Booklet

A note from the editor Katswe Sisterhood –

Dear Reader,

Thank you for supporting the our voices project and taking the time to read this publication. Within it you will find chapters that feature submissions from artists in Malawi, Zambia and Zimbabwe. Some of these women tell stories we have continually heard over the years and others bring topics not previously identified under the 12 critical areas of the Beijing declaration and POA.

You will find women telling stories inspired by personal truths and women using art to arouse deep conversation and feeling.

I really hope you enjoy it as I have enjoyed editing it.

Many thanks once again to our partners at OSISA, Urgent Action Fund Africa, Ford Foundation and Katswe Sistahood: without your support we would not have been able to breathe life into this idea and provide a platform where young women’s voice and art are celebrated. We hope to receive your continued support and that it allows this to become the first of many similar projects.

Download below:

katswesistahood.net/wp-content/uploads/Downloadable/Sept_2020/Our-Voices-2020_sml.pdf

Silent Border Crossing

A short story on women, poverty and migration

“Where is my baby? Mwanawangu aripi? Where is my baby? Where is my baby” Chipo asked frantically.

Tiny little Mudiwa gone and she didn’t know what to do. What would her husband say?

“Ndiani wamapa mwana wangu? Who did you give my child?” her eyes were full of tears as she yelled

The driver looked away and told her “Sister ma1. Everyone get back on the bus we have to go in 10 mins”

“But my baby where is my baby?” she yelled again but the bus drove away.

“But my baby where is my baby?” she yelled again but the bus drove away

Chipo grew up in Budiriro 3 in Harare. She didn’t know that she was poor, because everyone around her was poor. Of course there were “those neighbours” that had relativesb with big big cars that would bring their relatives groceries all the time. She wondered why they didn’t take their family members to wherever it is that they got these big cars and endless bags of groceries. She asked her mother once and her mother told her “Chipo unotaurisa.” She was often told that she talked too much but if she had a question she had to ask. This is what made her the top student at Budiriri 3 Primary School and later on at Budiriro High school.

Chipo was not only a good student but she was what the elderly aunties called a nice girl. They would often tell her mother “endemunemwana akanaka.” This comment wasn’t about her beauty but her character as she was agreeable, helpful and she attended church enough to make her mother proud.

Chipo met Tawanda when she was 17. She had passed all her 0-levels but her parents could not afford to pay for her to finish her A levels. She was informed by her mother that she would have to find something to do or get married soon. Her mother laughed as she said it but Chipo felt as though it was not a joke.

Continue reading Silent Border Crossing

Lessons from our Leaders

I was asked what have our leaders taught us and are they taking us in the direction we wish to go in. What have they done to demonstrate that we are moving in the correct direction? I started thinking of an old interview with Mugabe saying that all he ever wanted was to teach his people is to be self sufficient. 

I responded that our leaders taught us the value of education and that we should continue to suffer if it means that we will never be second class citizens in our country again. Now I have always been told that I am unaware of the “real situation” in Zimbabwe, the levels that people are suffering. 

I have started to argue back and tell them people your only experience is of Zimbabwe I have a “global experience” and I have seen that Black people are treated as second class citizens and are the living in relative poverty everywhere we are.

When reflecting on what has “occurred” in Zimbabwe we look at it in a vacuum forgetting that struggle is not ours alone. There are others that helped us to be free and their contributions were so that all Black people would be free, not so that we could continue to be “Africa’s bread basket” while bowing down to our oppressors. 

Continue reading Lessons from our Leaders

WHY AREN’T YOU OR YOUR PARENTS MILLIONAIRES

 I have been hiding behind the idea that I may be taken the wrong way. I may be too extreme.

I think there is a shame that is put behind being a Communist similar to the shame that people including myself have tried to put behind Feminism. It is similar to the shame that people put behind solving racism.

Somehow the person that is being wronged becomes the one in the wrong. I am inspired by Yvette Carnell, who I found through Dr. Boyce Watkins, who in 2015 was talking about Black Businesses. He was encouraging people to invest in the stock market which at the time I thought that isn’t a bad idea. When I think about it now, why are you gambling with your limited disposable income?

Now don’t get me wrong, I agree we need things of our own but then again if I don’t want to start a business I should just get paid enough to live comfortably. I know in the West the ideology is “everyman for themselves” but how is that working for you?

Continue reading WHY AREN’T YOU OR YOUR PARENTS MILLIONAIRES

Change is Always Good

September 24th
Yes I’m blessed but sometimes it feels like there is a maximum capacity of blessings that a person can have.
It feels like anytime you take a breathe something has to f up.
Or I guess we could just take it as you are now ready for the next level?
If life is a game, then it would be crazy to stay in the same level forever right? So maybe in life when you have mastered one level you have to move on to the next.
But that’s scary and it implies that you have to play forever.
Why don’t we get to just stay at one level?
But if we did then we would not be at this level that we wish to remain.
Change is always good, it is what has allowed you to be in the situation that you are in right now.
P.S It is the Lord’s will

Letters From a Stoic by Seneca

I borrowed this book last summer from a co-worker and still have it. It has taken me a longer time than is polite to have someone’s book but I think any true readers can understand sometimes book reading does not go according to plan.

I finally finished it and I wanted to read this book because all through my undergrad there was a teacher that kept telling us that he did not know why our school put Plato and Aristotle on such a high horse as the Stoics were better. I was never really sure what he was talking about but I made a mental note to get to the books eventually and I guess I finally did.

I loved this book and as much as I am concerned with communities and the collective we can never forget the individuals that make up those collectives. As a person that is constantly in my mind trying to make myself better I learnt from this book. It was a reminder that the quest for success is kinda stupid its best to be a good and wise person that does not worry too much about silly things and that one must at least try to be vegetarian.

Continue reading Letters From a Stoic by Seneca

You cannot excuse yourself from blackness

In reading the book Here I Stand by Paul Robeson I learnt that I think it is important and we need to keep our eyes on the prize. No-one is excused from the responsibility that comes with blackness. While we have had many celebrities that have helped in moving the fight forward we have to always remember that all celebrities, politicians, or political parties will not always do what is best for Black people.

Some do, some are frauds, some try in their own way usually in a manner that is not harmful to themselves as an individual. However as a marginilized community we always have to keep in mind that those that are trying to change institutional problems are also restricted by those same institutions.

Today you can think of Colin Kaepernick, he tried to do speak out against an institution  but was he punished for it. I think of Zanu PF or Fidel Castro they tried to challenge the international community and their populations have suffered dearly as a result.

Stopping oppression is not the job of one person it is for all of us to do what we can, when we can and in regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Here are the quotes that stood out to me in the book:  

“Reed is dead now. He won no honours in classroom, pulpit or platform. Yet I remember him with love. Restless, rebellious, scoffing at conventions, defiant of the white man’s law – I’ve known many negroes like Reed. I see them everyday. Blindly, on their own reckless manner, they seek a way out for themselves; alone, they pound with their fists and fury against walls that only the shoulders of many can topple” pg 13 

Here I Stand by Paul Robeson
Continue reading You cannot excuse yourself from blackness

Reading Location

Daily writing prompt
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

I don’t think I have really thought about this but I think my perfect reading space has to be cosy. I get cold really fast so there has to be a blanket, I know that a fireplace its too extravagant and will usually encourage others to come and sit with you meaning no real reading will happen. I think it would have a comfy chair that I can perhaps take a nap on and I think I want it to be private. My perfect reading place has usually been in the bathtub. I am relaxed, I can bring a drink in there and I can stay in there for hours reading or editing my work. Usually when I write a first draft of something on my computer I don’t want to look at it again but when I’m in the bathroom with my tablet I am able to look at it with a fresh set of eyes. I also like starting work in the tub, I can write a draft of what I intend to do or I can read a little bit of the book to determine if I wish to continue with the text. I think therefore the perfect place to read is either a really beautiful bathroom or one of those under the stairs libraries like where Harry Potter lived but they have your books and you can just sit, hopefully with some light coming in to keep you warm or enable you to look out the window when you are taking a break.

For writing I’m not too sure, I think you probably just need the right set of tools, the correct pen the right paper or the perfect keyboard and hot drink and it feels like the ideas will just flow. I think I am more experienced in knowing the perfect place to read than to write so I am excited to read what everyone else says.

p.s. I also like to read by the beach but I’m always too distracted by how beautiful the water is that I never seem to be able to fully get into the book.

Favourite Automobile

What is your all time favorite automobile?

I name my cars and I think so far my favourite has been urban angel! She took me through the pandemic without any real problems. My mum and I would joke it’s American trash (it’s a ford fiesta) but the thing about ford is their parts are cheap so even when something is really wrong it’s kinda cheap to fix. I think my favourite automobile is one that gives me a good return on investment, has reasonable repair expenses and won’t stop running because of an accident or two.

Honorary mention to my first car a Pontiac that I ran without an oil change for two years and was surprised when it just shut down one day

Seeing the “best” in people

Are you a good judge of character?

No I don’t think I am. I generally try to see the best in people and give people a chance but that results in not seeing what’s in front of me. I also don’t trust my instincts, I’ve met people with whom I’ve thought I don’t think we click but I always revert to maybe they having a bad day or I read them wrong when in actuality we don’t mesh and that is A okay. So no I don’t think I’m a good judge of character.

Taking French Lessons

Daily writing prompt
What was the last thing you did for play or fun?

I know that doesn’t seem fun but I have a working level of French and I’ve been working on getting better so that I can hopefully get a bilingual job. Yes professional development is fun for me. C’est ma vie!

I will be honest, I was a little hesitant before the lesson, because while I can read French ok, I am shy to practise the speaking part. I nervously signed into my zoom lesson but in the end I actually had a really good time. Practising a new language is fun because your tongue often doesn’t do what you need it to and in knowing that you don’t have the ability to do something you relax and let loose. So yep that’s the last fund thing I did.

A Kiss In Joburg – On Love from Africa Selections 

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked.
“You kissed me,” I replied.
“Fuck you,” he retorted.

I looked out the window, smiling. He was driving me to the airport. I had spent the night at his house because Johannesburg is a dangerous place—especially for a Zimbabwean woman alone with too many bags and no access to Wi-Fi.

The plan had been simple: I would arrive in Joburg, and a driver from my hotel would pick me up from the airport. He would meet me later in a neutral place. We were just supposed to have drinks because I was in town. 

A lady has to maintain some decorum when meeting a man in a foreign country. But things didn’t go as planned. The free Wi-Fi refused to connect, and my phone wouldn’t make calls. I asked a woman nearby if I could use her phone. She agreed but warned me, “You shouldn’t be out here alone. Even I’m afraid to be out here alone.” 

I called him and explained that my phone wasn’t working and the driver hadn’t arrived.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked—not rudely, but in a “what’s the solution?” kind of way.
I asked if he could pick me up. He said he’d be there soon.

So I waited. It felt like forever. My mind started to wander, as it often does. What if he doesn’t come? Is this a good idea? We’ve only met once before this. Sure, we’ve talked on the phone, and I was introduced to him in Zimbabwe, but this is South Africa. Oh boy, how do I get myself into these situations?

Then he arrived—still as handsome as I remembered. He helped me with my bags and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I couldn’t help wondering where his car was. It must have shown on my face because he said, “Unoterwa nematsotsi if you use flashy cars at night.”

We decided it made no sense to go to the hotel—his place was closer. At least, that’s what he claimed.

He was Zimbabwean, handsome, and confident—he had told me he knew he’d already “made it.” Fast forward a year. We hadn’t really spoken since I got back home. He was upset that nothing had happened between us—sulking in that way men do, hoping to make you feel like you owe them your body.

Then, one day, I was scrolling through my phone and saw the news. Someone had been shot. The photo caught my eye. “Mmm, he looks like G,” I thought. I looked again, thinking, There’s no way. A quick search confirmed it: he was gone.

In my mind, when I returned home next, I’d planned to reach out to him. Maybe pick up where we’d left off—or finish whatever we’d been trying to start.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked.
“You kissed me,” I replied.

Now, maybe we kissed each other. It’s hard to remember what really happened when one person is gone.

Tigere Tese – Black Political Theory